Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
-Mark Twain
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
-Mark Twain
We are all alike, on the inside.
-Mark Twain
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
-Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
-Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
-Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
-Mark Twain
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
-Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
-Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
-Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
-Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-Mark Twain
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
-Mark Twain
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
-Mark Twain
Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.
-Mark Twain
Things change so fast around here we thought we should add this facebook fan page to keep you up to date every day. Click "like" to get the latest updates sent right to you.